In no particular order:
Public transport and a future in God’s hands
Last week I took my first trip on the Gautrain with some friends – awesome! :) Effective, state-of-the-art public transport in SA really excites me, because it helps me to picture a positive, manageable future for Cam, whether that’s here or elsewhere. I think the World Cup here in SA has also shown people that we don’t necessarily need to be afraid of one another and that just maybe, like all the tourists, we can all catch the same buses, taxis and trains.
Sadly, on the flip side of fast trains and friendliness: my uncle was violently attacked in his home in Whiteriver last week. So is there a future? My hope springs from evidence that God is raising up a generation of godly young men (so many boy babies...!) who will bring His light into the future, however dark that future threatens to be.
Colours
Cam has made me very aware of colour. When he was born, he could only see light and dark. Then, before his cataract surgery, we realised that with lots of stimulation he could see red, orange, purple and pink. Now, with contact lenses and post-op visual therapy, his world is beautifully saturated with all colours. We’ve emphasised colour a lot, because we’ve recognised that where he can’t see detail, he can certainly see colour. He probably really enjoys colours because they compensate for clarity. He seldom mentions anything without attaching its colour, so he requests his dark navy undies, and yellow cheese for lunch, and wants to ride in Mommy’s silver car, etc.
Interestingly, he saw the moon on Saturday night – bright white light against a dark sky (even though it’s zillions of kilometres away...?); but only sees someone approach at about 4 or 5 metres.
Weekends in the bush
We spent the weekend at Somabula near Cullinan and it was glorious. I packed in all Cam’s books and cars, but he didn’t ask for them once. He just adventured in the veldt and around our little cottage, collecting sticks and feathers, making fires with Dad, etc. When we woke up on Saturday morning and were all lying together in our ‘holiday bed’ he listened and remarked, ‘There are lots of birds here.’
Books
Cam’s favourite book at the moment is ‘the sea book’. He remembers random things we’ve read to him. This morning he came into our room and said to me, ‘Dolphins are mammals that live in the sea.’ ‘The garden book’ and ‘the little lamb book’ are also firm favourites.
Food
Cam’s favourite thing to eat at the moment is pasta, tuna, cheese and tomato sauce. Yip, all together...
Playing, imagining...
Cam’s favourite things to do: playing with cars; riding his red motorbike; washing dishes; going to Granny’s house; playing hide and seek or ‘catch you!’ with Dad (he tells Dad where to hide, then comes to find him... which kind of gives Cam an unfair advantage...); making a ‘cave’ with our duvet.
We are enjoying him so much (despite the days when he whines a lot or throws tantrums). Yesterday he spent quite a while lifting my shirt and kissing (well, licking) my tummy and saying, ‘Hello, brother!’
He remembers stuff from way back and randomly tells us about things that happened or people we saw months ago. He’s also super descriptive (e.g. ‘Meagie’s got such a lovely ponytail’ and ‘Daddy’s got nice brown spiky hair’). He modifies most of his statements with quaint interjections like ‘actually’, ‘a little bit’ and ‘quite’. And his answer to a stern reprimand is generally to pause and then say, ‘Hug!’
He has a wild imagination. Samantha (Aunty Manty) gave him a little plastic soccer ball, and I thought it would be fun for him to play with it in the bath. Alas, he was utterly distraught, and in panicked tones yelled, ‘Soccer ball mustn’t swim!’ then flung it from the water to the safety of the bathmat. Ok...?!
The paradox of sleepless peace
Probably most moms feel judged for the imperfections of their children, perhaps especially moms of children with disabilities. When Cammy decided that sleeping through the night was so last year, it was very humbling for me. I mean, we read all the books; how could we have failed?
My self-soothing consolation is that we have prayed and prayed for wisdom and discernment, and to know the next right thing to do. We have felt strongly that sleep therapy is not the right strategy (for us, Cam or the neighbours) and that we need to sit this one out, trusting that this season will pass. I have given my sleep – and Cam’s – to God. Since our times are in His hands, He will determine our hours of rest. This has brought a lot more peace, and now I see our encounters in the middle of the night as divine appointments.
